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I See You In The Dark

This piece is like nothing else I have ever done before; I gave all of myself to this piece. It was a Holy experience and I absolutely loved it. 


To this day I can remember the journey. I can smell it, I can taste it, I can feel it. I was stepping into another world. I didn’t know if I belonged there or not yet there I was.


I wanted to stay in this moment but I knew I could not, it was a fleeting moment from when I first arrived. I honestly didn’t know if I was good enough or worthy enough to paint this, some nights aren’t good.


But this night I was dancing on my own, praying, painting, spinning in circles doing what I do best. I pray and I paint, I’m an Artist.


This is one of my earlier pieces and I didn’t know where I was going and I didn’t know if I was good enough. All I knew was that something big was about to happen.


I look for God, and yes, I find him every night when I paint. This night was absolutely mind blowing.


When the light went out this is what happened.


I was drawn to him, honestly I didn’t know what hit me. This piece kind of drove me out of my mind; he is edgy, he is not perfect, he is something that is unexplainable.


But I love him, when he came to me it was one of those moments in my life that was just surreal.


Let me say this first to all of you: This piece will get to you. He speaks volumes yet says nothing, he doesn’t have to, he just is and that’s enough because of who he is.


It was my time to do what I do best, my hours to walk into another world and to see what’s on the other side are from 10 at night until 5 in the morning.


I paint at night because it’s quiet, it’s calm, and for me, I’ve learned to love the darkness and the movement that comes within it. I love stars that shine brightly and speak to me.


I had been fasting and praying for my little brother Red Elk who I dearly love; he’s a joy to my life.


The music I was listening to was “Falling” by Harry Styles, “Too good at goodbyes” by Sam Smith, and “Dancing on my own” by Calum Scott. It was a beautiful evening of music.


When he came to me….well I don’t even know how to explain it. He wasn’t a person, he was a feeling, he was a metamorphosis, he transcended reality into what you see right now, he appeared out of smoke.


He came from a world where there is no top, there is no bottom, there are no sides; I don’t even think there was any color.


I remember my hand wandered into the paint, some nights I move the paint, other nights the paint moves me. I’m a slave to it and I’m also the master, I’m many people in one body.


All I know is I could feel myself falling. Usually I’m standing on the edge of the darkness; this time I felt like the world was turning upside down and I was floating.


I wanted to be around this piece yet there was a part of me that said don’t get too close but I couldn’t help myself, I could feel myself drawn to him, I was falling in love with him.


Something inside me was telling me to be careful but I wasn’t afraid of him, he didn’t make me feel unsteady.


He was just different and that’s ok because I believe we are all different.


This is a piece that you can look at and put yourself into it.


He makes you think, I was asking myself questions as I was painting like: “What is he?” “How did he get this way?” “How does he feel?”


He is one of those pieces that when you look at him you’re just gonna stop and stare.


He crosses lines and takes you someplace that’s uncomfortable and dangerous, he creates a bond with you. Once you see him you will never forget him, he gets into you on so many levels.


When I was painting him it was like I wasn’t even moving honestly, I didn’t know I was painting him. 


I was just standing there; I wasn’t dumb, I wasn’t happy, I wasn’t sad, I was just there  and I was void of motion.


I wish I could take you there. You should’ve been there because you wouldn’t believe it either.


When I look at this piece I can feel the uncertainty in him. I don’t know if he even wants to be around himself.


What you put into this piece you will get out of him; he will speak to you.


He was like nothing else I’ve ever done and to this day I can still stare at him for hours.


He confuses me, he boggles my mind because I can’t wrap my head around him.


I want to see inside his head and help him but there’s a part of me that says don’t get too close to him. I want to rescue him yet there is that whisper that tells me to stay away.


Honestly he is made to do one thing: create a conversation about something very powerful.


I’m leaving it up to you the reader, you tell me. What is the conversation to start with this?


I will say this, I see you staring at him wondering the same thing: What is he trying to say?


He is a piece that has no beginning and has no end, he’s a forever conversation.


He’s one of those pieces that once you see him, he makes you love him. 


You may not understand him. Honestly I don’t understand him.


Once you step into the room with him and lay eyes on him you’ll feel it believe me you will; he commands the room and the attention of those in the room.


What you see in the picture is nothing compared to the power of the piece itself, honestly I don’t know how the glass can hold that much energy.


He will make your heart feel something that you have never felt before. I don’t know if you’ll love him out of sympathy or compassion, but he will do something to you that no other art piece in the world will.


He’ll unlock a place inside you that you didn’t know existed, and when this happens you will sit on the floor and cry. Something will happen to you, something will open for you.


Whatever that something is, I believe it will heal you and help you, this piece will bring it out of you.


He is a big powerful piece, he is a conversation that will continue when my life has ended he will speak forever.


Just look at him right now, he’s speaking to you, he's having intimate conversation with you.


And for that reason alone you’re going to do one thing: 


You will love him. You may not understand him, but you will love him, just like I love him.

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