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Broken

I knew this would be a lot I don’t know if I could handle this at 3 o’clock in the afternoon on a summer evening I could just feel my soul grinding I was like between two rocks and a really bad hard place there was no safe place for me I knew I was going to be in pain when the sun went down I can always feel hurt And believe me right now I’m still clenching my fist thinking about that day and I always think God will never give me more than I could handle for tonight I would be on maximum overload

 

He came out of the darkness and he looked at me and just said take your best shot And I Stood there quietly all I heard was the voice and the voice was anger. I should’ve been afraid but I’m too stupid to run from this because in the Bible it says do not be afraid and I wasn’t gonna be afraid of whatever came out and tonight he appeared

 

I sat down on the ground on the edge of the darkness he stepped out he brought the darkness with him it’s the first time ever sat down waiting for one of my guys to appear

 

When he showed himself to me all I could feel was the hurt and the anger and the disappointment he himself was not bad what he had done what he was doing to himself and what he had become that’s what was bad his inner self struggling just to keep air and he was drowning he was both slave and master to his pain he didn’t know which commanded who

 

In my mind whenever I look at broken I know that I will cry for him more so I will pray for him but that point when I saw him I took on his pain and I wanted to take it from him because that’s the only thing I could do I don’t think I could’ve saved him when people are broken the only person I can put them back together is God himself all I wanted to do with broken Was love him.

 

I remember he tried to smile but he just couldn’t his addiction and his pain in the darkness would not let him smile he could not feel the good around him and within him the fire of life and passion and love for himself had all been extinguished there was maybe a smoldering Ember that was still going but I’m not even sure if that wasn’t being stomped to death

 

Looking at him literally pull the strings in my heart because I wanted to help him in so many ways and yet he was so cold he didn’t love anybody he didn’t love anything he was cold that’s what he felt but I did not feel that for him my hands were moving

 

Some nights when I paint I move the paint and some nights the paint moves me this night

It was God himself who was moving my hand I could feel every emotion and broken I wanted to portray him because he wasn’t gonna last long I was moving with fury I was moving with anger I was moving with hatred

 

But I wasn’t any of those things towards broken I was angry at the addiction that had taken hold of him I was hateful that had taken his beautiful wife look at him right now look into those eyes that’s what pain that’s what agony that’s what Addiction looks like it will rob you of everything that is a good pure and clean in your life look what it did to broken

 

Broken came and sat next to me he was absolutely beautiful and I said I don’t care how far you are gone into the darkness I got you I won’t let you go back I will save you from this guess what I’m gonna save you and I know you’re gonna save me

 

He just looked at me And he didn’t even have to say the words he just had that look that said I’m not even worth saving and I think that’s what hurt me the most cause I believe everybody is worth saving and broken certainly was look at the color in him the red the blue he’s about as broken as you can get as a human being yet he’s probably one of my favorite pieces because he’s more than paint on a glass he is what we all go through

 

We all are broken there’s different degrees some of it’s a little sum of its big nobody’s perfect nobody has the right to judge anybody I think broken has been judged all of his life for not being perfect smart enough good enough the darkness in the addiction said come over here I won’t judge you I’ll take you in my world and he went with them

 

All I know is that I don’t judge anybody broken taught me that you don’t know with somebody story is behind the smile you don’t know what they’ve gone through you don’t know what they’re going through you don’t know if they’re crazy or not

 

All I know one thing is that I believe and have faith that broken can be fixed he can be better again he can come out of where he’s at and I sat there and I told him that I said you know I believe in you broken I will put you back together again

 

He got up and he started walking away from me nice to half Mr. waving to him I said don’t go broken come back because I have to go back

 

I couldn’t stop him the truth is you can’t save people from themselves that’s the bottom line you can love them you can feed them you can close them and you can shelter them but if they want to destroy themselves sometimes there’s just no stopping them

 

But let me tell you this broken was worth saving they all are

 

When he was walking away I was watching a friend walk away I’m not short amount of time I built a relationship with him and I wanted to see him and I want to see him be happy I want to see him alive and thriving I want him to be whole again I wanted him to live

 

As broken was leaving I said broken I’m not here for you you come back whenever you want and you were one of those pieces that I will go into the darkness I’ll go back to where I said I never go again and I will find you I go through hell for you broken because I won’t let you go I won’t let you die like this but I know right now you feel like you need to go I can’t stop you and I won’t stop you but I’m here for you come back to me and then I watched him feedback into the darkness

 

And I sat there and I cried because I don’t know what Was going to happen to him but here’s what I will tell you as the reader

 

Broken did come back to me broken as a series I called into the darkness every night over and over again and he did come back to me if you want to see what he looks like now Well I will eventually show him to you

 

But for right now if you want to do something make a difference in peoples lives pray for the people that are broken if you know people that are broken love with him help them because they need it guess what so do you

 

If you were broken yourself don’t look inward lied to fix yourself it doesn’t work like that at least it doesn’t for me broken taught me the best way to heal my broken soul was to go out early and help other people be in service to them love them what you put out into the world freely God puts back into you and he gives it to you 1000 times over he feels your pain

 

But he also fills in your pain with faith and love and hope and goodness when you show that it comes back to you broken is taught me so much I wish Broken is with me right now he just simply amazing and honestly I don’t know where he’s at and I hope to see his face again I’ll put my arm… Man, I’ll put my arm around him and hug him and just love him and I do that for anybody that’s broken because God does that for me every day

 

So just like broken I’m praying for you if you’re reading this you go and pray for somebody else and make a difference in the world this is how we heal each other we’re all broken people just trying to get through this thing called life

 

So just take a moment look at broken and just smile love yourself love other people because that’s what I did with broken

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