Addiction

The piece addiction:

 

It’s a journey one that I know fairy well but here it goes

 

Addiction is about loving something that you never really met or look for it yet you found it and it called you by name.

 

It waved to you, it smiled at you and it said come over here I got what you’re looking for and I’ll be your friend.

 

Plus I won’t tell anybody your secrets, it's just between us, come on over, here look what I have and it’s just for you.

 

This is how it starts.

 

Addiction does one thing, it fills an empty space that’s inside you, it fills a void that you don’t know what to do with.

 

For some reason whatever it may be, something went wrong with you or something happened or life happened.

 

An open wound was created out of trauma and you don’t know what to put in there to stop the hemorrhaging.

 

You’re slowly dying and it’s so painful that you need to do something to fix it because you just want the pain and agony to stop.

 

Plus you have the battle raging in your mind, and you just need something for a little while to make the gunshots going off in your head to stop.

 

You just need something to take the edge off so that you can sleep and clear your head and for a little while just not be in pain.

 

Addiction starts out as a solution to your problems, It’s a one stop shop.

 

This is how it works:

 

The trap is always set with something you want and nobody else in the world knows what’s inside you.  

 

It’s your hidden secret, you get lured into it by the desire to feel better.

 

How ironic you get hooked on poison to heal yourself.

 

But once you find it things move at lightspeed, perpetual motion. It's coming to play, it’s euphoric beyond words and yes-yes you embrace it  love it.

 

You love it more than anything else in this world more than your family; your addiction becomes the center of your universe.

 

Why because you’re always chasing that high because it feels so good and when you’re in that moment with it, well time and space reality does not exist.

 

You’re just floating through time and you have no responsibility, you have no inhibition, you were just there, but you don’t even know where you were at but it does feel good in that moment.

 

That’s how it works and if you’re an addict, I’m just telling you the story of your life.

 

Believe me when I say this as sure as the sun comes up and the sun goes down this is something that is ingrained into my soul.

 

I’m talking on the subject that I wrote the book on. This is my masters, my thesis, my doctoral degree. This is my PhD. My addictions put this diploma in my hand. Believe me you will not tell me something I do not already know when it comes to addiction.

 

But when that moment is over and you come back into reality you don’t know what happened.

 

Honestly you know what happened but you don’t care because it feels that good, It was amazing so you tell yourself.

 

Lying to yourself is easy to do but then the other side of you… well it shows up as well.

 

That’s when you really hate yourself because you said you never do it again and yet here you are.

 

Either pouring yourself a drink, gambling, eating, shopping, drugs, pick your poison or having sex for pleasure or profit, It takes a lot of money to live in the dark world.

 

Because addiction is not cheap Nor is it free there is a heavy penalty and price to pay for being an addict.

 

And if you want to see what it looks like well, I just painted the face of it.

 

That’s what addiction looks like, I know from first-hand experience. Ask me what it’s like to be an addict.

 

But that’s not the End of the story.

 

Know one thing there is always redemption for you if you’re reading this and you’re an addict.

 

I tell you this: you are not too far gone there is a light in the darkness all you gotta do is turn around and come back.

 

God is right there waiting for you, believe me you’ve made it this far because God is still loving you he is still protecting you and he sees a good life for you.

 

He just needs you to say you know what, I’m done I need some help and God will send his angels to you.

 

I’ll get you out of that dark place, I will help you because I know what it’s like and it’s a really ugly place. I got out of it so can you.

 

God saved me, So I could go back into the darkness and get you out as well. I may not know you but I believe in you and I love you with all my heart and I will help you.

 

I just need you to turn around, ask for help and let people love you through this because you have a beautiful life and the world is a better place with you in it.

 

The face you are looking at is my piece called Addiction; it doesn’t have to be you 

 

I beg you break the cycle, start to love yourself and fill the void with faith and God not poison.

 

Go back to your family because they miss you and they love you and in the end so do I.

 

This is what Addiction is about. It’s not about the poison inside or around you, it’s about finding the inner peace through Jesus Christ and learning to love yourself. You may be an addict right now but you don’t have to stay there, nobody does. Let God love you and he’ll get you out of this, believe me you are not too far gone.

 

God can get you out of addiction, I am living proof of this and again I love you and I believe you and I’m praying for you, get the help you need because you are worth it, You are amazing.

 

“These are the words out of my own mouth”